My American Idol

Dear Bono:

I saw you on American Idol last night. I imagine, if I were a contestant (by some bloody miracle and a whole lot of Guiness), our meeting would have gone a little something like this:

Bono: Welcome. What will you be singing for me?

Me: Smiarhg297- duh...

Bono: I didn't quite catch that. I can tell you are nervous. What is your name?

Me: Um-uh, duh, duh, um-uh.

Bono: It says on your name tag: Heather, is that right?

Me: Urr, uh, uh-huh! (Beaming proudly because I finally said something!)

Bono: Why don't you start singing and I'll give you some pointers.

Me: "Am I getting better, or do I sound the same? Am I making it easier on your ears, or do I take the blame?"

Bono (to the camera): I don't quite know what to say. How about - Time for a Commercial Break???

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On a more serious note,

I applaud your efforts for poverty relief in the world. I am proud of you for using your talents and your fame to put a spotlight on a very serious issues and to put pressure on people to join you. Maybe we can end hunger and poverty.

Keep up the good work-

Your biggest fan

* * Blog fans, please feel free to write your own letters to Bono in the comments section. I welcome all ideas, but reserve the right to remove harmful or offensive material.